Favorite Quotations George Carlin When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops

"Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music." ~ George Carlin


One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

It's called The American Dream 'cause you have to be asleep to believe it.

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition. ~ AP, 2004

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

Imagine meeting your maker and finding out it's Frito Lay.

I went straight from shenanigans to crimes against humanity.

Life is not measured by the number of breathes we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Is it possible to be totally partial?

You look in anybody's eyes, you can see the universe if you're really lookin'.

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.

Most people are not particularly good at anything.

There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven of them you can't say on television.

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